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Re: Intars' gallery

PostPosted: Wed Feb 21, 2018 4:29 am
by Knacki
Kind of disturbing intars, but very interesting. keep up the good work!

Re: Intars' gallery

PostPosted: Wed Feb 21, 2018 1:53 pm
by eduardobedoya
I like that last landscape, that object on the shore, looks very abstract in a way, cool.

Re: Intars' gallery

PostPosted: Thu Feb 22, 2018 11:24 am
by Tartan
Oh wow, nice to see you back Intars :) That landscape was well done. Definitely disturbing but I sense the story. All in all a great return :D c:!

Re: Intars' gallery

PostPosted: Thu Feb 22, 2018 1:52 pm
by Taron
...yep, that is some sinister collection! :shock:
Definitely artistic and slightly disturbed. :rock:

Re: Intars' gallery

PostPosted: Thu Feb 22, 2018 9:57 pm
by Intars
Aaaha, you got scared :)
Just what was intended :uhuhuh:

No worries, this is not some sick Hollywood violent values copyPasta. I feel this project more like some
sort of Inception + Silent Hill 1 (the game) minus lame shootings and adults acting like .... in american films (somewhat).

My disappearance was due to risky shift in my life - i am now a ComputerScience/ Robotics student in local university. This year i started my
quest and struggle for computerScience education in my 30s. For the second time in my life, juuuust thanks to chain of
lucky circumstances, i am in a university at this age of mine. When i quit three years ago my job as 3D artist in a company
(for which i worked 4 years) due to nightmares and ugly race to the bottom of the ending chapter in that company's existence,
having good understanding of poor CG market where i live and realities, there was a real plan and even preparations done to
enable my studies in UK University of Hertfordshire, in 3D Game Art course for 3 years. There was quite a summoning of all my
miserable savings and money sums from close and friendly circles to make that happen in stages, as we planned it to happen.
Folks kind of believed in me and supported idea of me becoming more technologically skilled artist in abroad universities.

What's even more crazy is that i got accepted my portfolio and application, passed IELTS exams, had booked a room in student
apartments and got as far as the days of August 2016 .... the last remaining deadline days when i had to put my signature on
important papers, which would turn me with my own blessing into ... a debt slave for some financial middle-in-between-parasite
firm for the rest of my life :ud:

:uhuhuh: i said this won't happen.
You can laugh your bellies off, but its true that, as it turned out to be, the most important PARTS of the papers i really sat down
and read like 6 times in final days, after soooo much time (close to a year) invested in all other preparations :mrgreen:
That is/was my second most, most bizarre planning step arrangement in social maneuvers.
That there will be a need of a credit of sorts to be taken - yes, that was understood. My crowdfunded finances would allow me, at
best, to pay for student apartments and food for 3 years max, and focus on studies. It is when i got so far as in a last days cared to
read legal papers additionally on that firms site and some from UK government education regulations and taxes, plus some internet
articles on student loan bubbles in UK, i realized how ..... almost life itself asked me whether art means so much for me that i am
ready to put a calmness of my sleep for the rest of my life at the mercy of UK loan collection firm clerks and few button clicks?

The answer was a clear no. And that was it. The same day i got sudden idea out of nowhere to check what is going on in local
university and somehow without hesitation i knew it had to be a computer science field - the only natural extension to my interest
from 3D computer animation to something related with computers/math/scientific creativity. And then hit the light - i learnt that
in computer science faculty there is even now a new three years bachelor course in robotics/ basics of artificial intelligence! Don't
know how but it hit me directly that i wanna be there right now. The costs of studies would be something like 1/5th of what it
would cost if a UK adventure would be chosen.

Long story short - having a quick slightly bizarre phone call-talk with a girl from a local firm dealing with applications to studies abroad,
a not so cheap champagne gift to her for efforts, after taking one year necessary preparatory courses in physics, math and programming
before university full-scale studies, and having this unique opportunity (one of theee best ones in my life so far) to get away with this
from working drudgery - after all of that i am now officially a robotics student in my second semester studying for free because of my
good records and marks from my high school diploma and previous three years of university studies (we have tuition free universities)
Our Riga Technical University is not the bottomest and last university in the world, it's records are ok and more or less plausible in Europe.
There happens even some CERN folks guest-lecture seminars for anyone interested.

In this bizarre leap of faith, a very very ironic one, it seems that i am back where i left 10 years ago - in 2008, the day when i decidedly went
to directorate of faculty and made my statement of my willingness to quit my studies due to my interest in creating my own animated short
film and becoming an artist (both of which i did by the way). This is madness of some sort.

Now i am happy, and so does my 'investors' - government got me covered, there are no loans taken and no agreements signed with loan firms
, computer science studies are hard, cool and so interesting, i felt
the same like when i was discovering 3dsmax step-by-step, tutorial-by-tutorial for myself back than when juuuust getting into 3D! Now its
for programming and physics, and math this time :bounce:
I have only one missed lecture in previous semester! Math and algorithms science is like art in itself, believe me folks.
Now i am not that fast as young folks of 20. Never imagined that i will start applying to myself this "aaahh, the age is coming".
Now i do. It is really hard to get on time, but i manage to do it. I have only one relax day and its ok. In my 30s i know what a privilege it is to
even attend university - it is lucky adventure for me. Youngsters do yawn at math lectures but that is theirs problems. They don't know what
it is like to slave-labor for 8th day work week to meet clients deadlines so you get wage and pay nearly half of it in taxes. University life is
like a paradise to me after everything.

My quest for IT education is my new means for my future survival now. I know it will also be a horror show on its own to break into employment,
meet the realities of programmer workdays in companies and even to become professional up-to-date skilled computer scientist, especially with
my already old (but not obsolete, ok?) brain. At least now i have no illusions as to what expect.
My new art now looks something like this (sorry for non-verve; its just this time)

----- see the image below ----------

So...? What is with my art after all of this, you might wonder? Well, yes - ... i do have to tune in some sad notes here. It wasn't that easy
for me to recognize that art will probably never be experienced or practiced by me on intensity that i got used to. What did i do full year during
attendance of specific preparatory courses before jump into university, did i draw anything?

Yes!!! Quite a lot! 3D was abandoned though right at the moment when i realized that i have to care for renderings no more. I drew quite a lot on
paper, there is even something like half-completed story-board animatic (unpublished but in a patient-strategic-step progress). I knew this was my
last year in my life (September 2016 - September 2017) when i could afford to do something art-related during daytime.
It is just that it happened so that i took my time off the computer as much as i could and computer art was done considerably lesser. I added in my
signature my portfolio which i needed to enter contest for place in UK university - who are interested may check some of my works there.
You may folks relax and be sure i am not selling you my art - there is no commercial value and never will be to my portfolio anymore ;)
It's just that it is there. But i will be adding there new stuff when it comes. I even now feel so great that whatever art will be from me it will be
purely by me for me for all with no capitalism in it.

Carefully i will be doing art because there is so much i would like to draw and get done until my last day. Since i decided that there is no need for me
to compete for CG skills, new tools, drudgery to know last rendering engine, ZBrush all the hi-poly frenzy and drudgery anymore, i can afford to shoot
and aim for lame keyframes, low-poly PSX era graphics and until my pension day, even while being a programmer, still step by step try to do in a matter
of 40-50 years during some Sundays or Saturdays a low-poly view-port only rendered full-movie cinematic on an old version of XSI 7.01 on any computer
where i can install it :ud:

So far art doesn't conflict with university since i learned how to discipline myself and allow to do any only and when all hometasks and lab-works are
done. And i found out that it really means quite a rare moments, some moments here and there like that rare Saturday, some pencil drawing in a bus
or lecture break. Artist in me i am pretty sure won't go anyway fatally, he is adjusting and staying with me :ud:

And Verve! You folks can only imagine what it meant for me to bring this swamp image into existence. I discovered that .... just by opening Verve, with
no training, and actually pretty fast (for me) i can get image done. This one came in about three to four hours.
This is not the only verve-paint that i have created, there is something more. I just struggle how to present those because they kind of go into probably
what could be considered to be among one of two THE most important, long developed and longest term and depth art project. Probably i will just snap
them here at some point. They are 100% verve.

Well, Heartcrab is one thing, accept it as it is. We will see not only dark stuff from me, i have some jokes in my head as well :roll:

Re: Intars' gallery

PostPosted: Thu Feb 22, 2018 10:43 pm
by Taron
I had to giggle somewhere in the upper half of this when you go: "Long story short", hehehe! :hihi:
Intars, that's one heck of a story. I'm glad that you've found your way and had the wisdom to withdraw from the insane loan trickery. I'm sure you can appreciate even more now, just how terrible the system abuses the young and their families, pulling them into this madness.
Programming can be a wonderful thing, a roller-coaster ride with enormous highs and dreadfully frustrating lows, haha. :PP :hyper: :shock: :tantrum: :ud: :hyper: :bounce: ...and so on...
Java is a nice language, I find, though I really don't like the common IDEs for it....meh... My wife is learning intensely Java for over a year now (or has it been two already?), but on her own, with the web and with me, of course. She's doing quite well I must say and I'm very proud of her! She learns it, because she has a fantastic idea for a design software. Something tells me that she will take us into the commercial world with proper success before I get to take that plunge, hehe.
If you think that you're mad, because you do such a late career change, imagine my wife and me, turning into independent software developers in our mid 40s, hehe. -with absolutely no backing or safety-net, I should add. BUT this is about you and I'm very happy for you, even including all the curious traumas involved, because they give you strength and greater understanding.
THANK YOU for sharing all of this! :) And cheers to your new life! :beer:

Re: Intars' gallery

PostPosted: Sat Feb 24, 2018 12:36 pm
by Intars
Career change in 40s... eeeeeehh :roll: without much of support, which enabled me to strategically for a moment
to be set free from market slave-laboring horror show and restart my value system and make a switch, i probably already
would be either in low-skill labor purgatory with an art as a illusion memory or some other great scenario of deep dive down
even in my 30s...

But such a switch was a must have in order to restructure all my value system, regain math/physics knowledge lots during all
those years of working. I think politicians are so irresponsible self-deceptionists and liers when they calmly say that when machine
intelligence will start to impact labor market and displace humans, they will organize human retraining (in a context of ever fiercely
intensifying market, global debt dynamics, bio-psycho-social pressures - yea,right...). As if you overnight will turn a truck driver into
computer science educated man... I already see what a cost it is taking to turn from the artists into programmers (time-resource wise).
Only thanks to family and other close circles and their support i could afford to become a sort of "investment project" with an idea that
at least one must be in computer science field today. From everyone around me, including all my friends, it happened to be me. Somehow
folks avoided this field...

Programming courses provided by government entities will not turn any person into relevant programmer over few weeks. We soon will be
competing (will we be able?) with neural networks. Even programmers may face automation of many aspects of their jobs. Its like i finish
university and everything i know already will be obsolete (except fundamentals - like physics, math) :D

Ok, enough pessimism.
Java - we have it in our uni course. But even our Java teacher, a woman, said that robotics students better already start gearing up and
slowly preparing transitioning all knowledge into C/C++ for the better so we have easier life at later courses. I am personally interested
to try explore (once uni pressure comes off) something like C/C++ with tcl (specific scripting, high-level language) combo-workflow.
And than i heard there is logical programming paradigm, largely abandoned by commercial world and rarely taught anywhere - Lisp, Prolog
and Mercury languages which got my interest and curiosity.

I will definitely share my further art. Art for me now is a means of meditation and a switch for relax mode so to say. Problem is that my
study time computer has IntelHD Graphics integrated videocard, i5 proc computer. With verve it got difficult relationships :)
It is my other, old but strong quad-core and Nvidia card-rigged workhorse in other apartment at the other end of town on which i do all my
verve-paintings, and real paintings as well (when they happen to be created.) We have this crazy, less-standard artifact of soviet time
architecture curiosities - an isolated room/studio type space that are "attached" to private ownership to some apartments as an addition.
My parents live in apartment, but that studio room, which is separated and has keys of its own is sort of a room left for me and where i
always can come. As i say - it is the only thing that i have and consider base home, all my artwork was done there. Other than that i have
no other home or property. In that i am a rich person - no debts to any government entities (except to IMF as part of national debt which
everyone is part of and which is yet to be seen judged in its legitimacy by distant, distant future), no ownership, no car, no credits, only
semi-studio like place, my books and computers. So i am indebted only to my close investors and 4.Industrial Revolution that is slowly
coming our way. I would like to see Robotics and Cybernetic sciences being put to proper use to bring about 2-3 max. workday week, smart
resource management on planet, solar mining and renewable energy-powered and equipped hospitals, cities and farm-lands and removal of
obsolete governmental entities and social institutes that inflicts wounds and put a breaks on human spirit and energy for curiosity and learning.

At my study time like 85% of time i stay in female-Ally apartment, that helps shorten distances to uni and mobilize on studies.

It is when i get to my really ''special place" where my real workhorse is standing and always ready to be launched, i switch to an artist mode
and get to verve and art. I guess people may tend to think, judging from my sinister atmosphere of artworks, that this comes from depression :roll:
In reality when i draw those i guess i am like in a meditation and like a young explorer. Horror tones comes from environment realities, can't undo that.
That is how conscious person chooses to portray current socio-economic mood. I exploit the horrors of reality and allow my art to integrate that into
itself, as a form of meditation of staying socially-true for myself and my art - that gives in return a feeling of meditation and calm mind.
I don't know if i had told that somewhere, but reason why most of my works gravitates towards horror/supernatural is because at some point in my life
i considered it to be most technically difficult genre to do (for me), and so i wanted to challenge myself exactly in that. Not to go a path of easier, nicer
and more wide-audiences engaging art styles, themes and genres, but really to go into quest of mastering dark arts, try to capture dream surrealism.
Chris Nolan's "Inception" i guess was trying to do just that. So i am somewhat more interested not in a horror, less so in a gore, as for dream surrealism.
Basically all i do, i guess, is something like a Silent Hill 1 + Inception + history of 20th century (as hidden motives and background here and there).

Verve is a great companion in that :roll:

Re: Intars' gallery

PostPosted: Tue Mar 06, 2018 5:07 am
by eduardobedoya
very interesting reading Intars
I just always have wondered if it is possible for a brain to handle maths, physics, n arts, to perform all that tasks actively, or if the hours of the days could sufice for such endevour. My respects.
It's just like been a true renaissance man, I remember telling to taron that. I don't consider myself a programmer, but a scripter(python, chatscript, autohotkey), but sometimes when I'm painting I feel the urge to model, or to script, and the same when modeling or scripting. xD
Finally, your thoughts about these times n how you perceive your own art reminded me of this quote by Ernst Fischer...
"In a decaying society, art, if it is truthful, must also reflect decay. And unless it wants to break faith with its social function, art must show the world as changeable. And help to change it."
Congrats Intars

Re: Intars' gallery

PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2018 12:15 am
by Intars

Hardly anyone on our planet, including scientists, knows how much exactly brain capacity is to store information. They have certain estimates and
ideas for sure. It can store huge amount of data lifelong (given no trauma is experienced). Millions of synapse-neuron connections :?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I have been reading few months ago one hell of an interesting, heavily unordinary Russian investigative-horror-sciFi that is so unpopular that maybe there
is only few hundreds/thousands of people that read it and discovered that story. Its something of a Resident-Evil meets X-Files in a Russian sauce :?
I just don't have words to describe the whole effect, most intriguing, creative nuances found there, ...but what i found irresistible was to try paint
quickly some impression, a 'snapshot' of some story cinematic moments. It was created quite some time ago, and now i found time to upload it finally.

This is 99% vervepaint (in Gimp some minor contrasting and resize to get ready for uploads). While definitely not the best and most detailed of mine,
still this image, as i believe, has its place. Here is informational background, which you need to know, while seeing it. There is a silent dream vision
experienced by Soviet solder in a hospital, where he is recovering after injuries during covert operation in Egypt. During retreating and some hiding
in waters, he got attacked by odd-looking aligator. In a dream, illegally exploited and ,later on, betrayed soviet special ops soldier encounters colored
"void" that slowly crawls his way and he is trying to figure out whether it is more safe to stay in white void or close to this pulsing colored thing.
After regaining from injuries and coma, story describes very peculiar, progressing visions and surreal struggle of some new, reptilic, parallel, lurking
consciousness in his brain. Sometimes some unpopular scifi book holds true creative gems. I have never prior read anything like that. This whole book
is a rare piece of creative mixture of trash, detective genre,
mystery, institutionalized conspiracy genre and trashy-horror filled with Russian-mentality specific irony on .... i guess everything, some dark humor.
There was lots of stuff i really disliked, which took down whole quality here and there to cheesy, horrible, cheap level B-movie. But the core in story was
brilliant (for fiction genre literature art).

The story is "Black Oasis" (by Mihail Seldzemeshev).
There was, by the way, a quest point and click game-adaptation to his work, with his collaboration. The game has only distant relation to book-story
and references, correlates few moments though. In Western part of out planet it was released as Midnight Nowhere.

So, once again verve served for quick adaptation of text information through impressions into an image.

Re: Intars' gallery

PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2018 1:15 am
by Taron
Well, there's a very good chance that the brain stores hardly any data and rather communicates with the so-called akashic records. Only short term memory, similar to processor cache resides in the brain itself. To understand how likely this is, you only need to realize that everything, every "atom", so to say, is but a specific, localized "vibration", as we might understand it. While we interact with all these vibrational distinctions (substances, images, even sounds) and perceive them within but a slice of a moment, their existence, ultimately, is infinite and actually IS infinite, meaning that whatever was, actually still is, except that we've "left it behind us in time". And so is every action itself and even every thought. A thought, measured by our instruments, reads like an electrical charge, wondering around the brain, in a fashion. Neurons, synapses, they act and as such create a change of these vibrational distinctions, leaving a trail in time like everything else. Our DNA, really, contains also a kind of address, similar to an IP, if you will. Maybe this is how we can differentiate our experiences from that of others, to which we otherwise might have access, too. Indications of that can be observed, when you consider organ transplant patients. They suddenly pick up on habits and even memories of their donors. Thus, while this sounds rather esoteric at first, once you get properly into it you will find that it makes a heck of a lot more sense than anything else, really. And once you wonder down this path, you will learn aspects of reality and how much more there is to it, which gradually will liberate you from the faulty limitations of what they call "materialistic" thinking.
Don't get me wrong, though, thinking and processing of the physical experience in all its complexity still has to be done with the brains. There's enough of a workload and enough "programming" necessary to exhaust our brains and explain its size and density. We are quite literally programming our brains and so are others. Society has various ways in which it programs us. Depending on what your nature is, how powerful and independent your self-control might be, you may eventually break free from some or even all of the programming, remaining aware of its purpose, but able to detach from it to come to your own, real understanding. But it does take a good deal of courage and eventually confidence to pursue this sort of social-deprogramming. You then develop your own perception filters, possibly opening up to things that were virtually invisible or imperceptible to you before. This may include your own, genuine thoughts, which can be suppressed by societal programming. Questioning official data, concepts and agendas. Well, it could open up a can of worms, for sure, haha! :?

Anyway, great stuff and I like your concepts up there! :ob